For couples who have struggled to have a child on their own, it makes sense to begin looking at alternative ways to complete a family. Surrogacy is one option that offers tremendous benefits, and using it to finally have the child that you’ve been wishing for is an option well worth doing.
But this of course requires that you find a surrogate mother to carry the child. The internet is filled with stories of couples turning to friends or even family members to act as their surrogate, but the reality is that this isn’t always the best option – often, there is no hard legal contract drawn up and there is little legal protection for the intended parents.
That means that finding a good surrogate mother is incredibly important. So just what makes a good surrogate mother and how do you go about finding one if you’re planning on using surrogacy? There are plenty of things to consider.
The Perfect Surrogate
There are several elements that make up a great surrogate mother. The majority of them are obvious, but still very important to look for. These include the following.
- Healthy – A healthy mother is probably the single most important thing to look for. A surrogate shouldn’t smoke and should be overall healthy. This way the pregnancy is much less likely to have any complications or problems.
- Already A Mom – There are two main reasons that a good surrogate mother should already be a mother of her own child or children. The first is that it will help ensure a safer pregnancy – if a past pregnancy had complications, those complications could be a risk for future pregnancies. If the previous pregnancy was smooth and without problem, it increases the odds that the process this time will be smooth as well.
However, the other main reason that a surrogate should already be a mother is that it reduces the likelihood she will change her mind. Pregnancy can be highly emotional, and a mother who has no children of her own may suddenly decide that she prefers to keep the child. There should always be legal contracts in place to prevent this, but in some places the surrogate has a fair number of potential rights – especially if you have no contracts in place. - Willing To Sign Contracts – That last point brings us to this one. A surrogate should be willing to sign contracts immediately when she is chosen as the surrogate mother. Intended parents need to have legal protection in place in order to ensure that they are able to be the legal parents of the child.
Additionally, it is worth noting that while many have had success with enlisting a friend to serve as a surrogate, this has numerous potential risks. It is hard to ask a friend to sign legal contracts since it can come across as though you don’t trust them. Then, if they have a change of heart and decide that they wish to keep the child, it not only crushes your dreams of parenthood but can destroy your friendship as well. As such, it’s almost always a better idea to seek out a surrogate elsewhere.
Using Agencies To Find Your Surrogate
The best way to find a surrogate is to not look for one yourself at all. Instead, let one of the surrogacy agencies that exist to help would-be parents do the hard work for you. Surrogacy agencies have a pool of potential surrogates who apply to help a couple’s dreams come true.
They can work with you to match you up with the perfect surrogate for your needs, and in many instances you can even have some say in which surrogate you use and may even be able to meet them and interact with them throughout the pregnancy.
Surrogacy agencies have very strict guidelines in place regarding surrogates. Those applying to become a surrogate must meet a wide range of criteria – including the points mentioned above. They’ll have to be healthy, have a child, and will go into the agreement fully aware that they must sign contracts guaranteeing that they will have no legal responsibility or rights regarding the child.
Looking Outside The Country
Surrogacy agencies in other countries often have the best potential for parents. Not only are you removed from the local area around you, but you’ll be able to enjoy much greater rights. Countries like Georgia, for example, have increasingly become go-to locations for surrogacy due to the fact that they have many legal rights protecting intended parents and the fact that the surrogacy process is much cheaper than in many other locations.
Finding the perfect surrogate for your child is important, and you need to make sure that you go through the process properly to protect you, the surrogate mother, and the child that you wish to have.