Surrogacy can be a journey that brings hope, love, and new life into the world. And if you’re an intended parent who cannot carry a pregnancy yourself, surrogacy is a deeply personal and life-changing experience. With that said, you might be wondering how the process works, starting from the first decision you make to the day the baby is born.
We will walk you through the surrogate mother process, from initial consideration and matching to pregnancy, delivery, and beyond.
What Is Surrogacy?
In a surrogacy arrangement, a woman (the surrogate) agrees to carry and deliver a baby for someone else (the intended parent or parents). There are two main types of surrogacy you should know about:
- Gestational Surrogacy: This is when the surrogate carries an embryo created through IVF using the egg and sperm of the intended parents or donors. The surrogate, in these cases, has no genetic link to the baby.
- Traditional Surrogacy: This is when the surrogate uses her own egg, which makes her the biological mother of the child. This method is much less common today due to legal and emotional complexities.
Most modern-day surrogacy arrangements you find are gestational, and this also helps provide much greater clarity and legal security for everyone involved.
Step One: Deciding to Use a Surrogate
The surrogacy journey begins with a decision. Intended parents may consider surrogacy for a variety of reasons:
- Medical conditions that prevent pregnancy
- History of infertility or failed IVF cycles
- Same-sex couples wanting to start a family
- Single individuals who wish to become parents
This decision is often made after having meaningful and careful discussions with doctors, fertility specialists, and legal professionals. Remember, it isn’t just a medical decision you are making—it’s also emotional, legal, and financial.
Step Two: Choosing a Surrogacy Agency
This is an optional but recommended step in the process. Some choose to go with independent surrogacy, where they match privately with a surrogate. However, many intended parents instead decide to work with a surrogacy agency that can help walk them through the process.
Most surrogacy agencies offer:
- Surrogate screening and matching services
- Legal coordination
- Medical coordination with fertility clinics
- Emotional and logistical support
The right surrogacy agency helps streamline your journey, reduce the risks involved, and can provide a safety net for the surrogate as well as the intended parents.
Step Three: Finding the Right Surrogate
A truly successful surrogacy journey depends on a good match. A surrogacy agency screens potential surrogates thoroughly and ensures they meet health, age, and lifestyle criteria. The surrogate should:
- Be in good physical and mental health
- Have had at least one healthy pregnancy and delivery
- Live in a surrogacy-friendly state or country
Once you find a surrogate mother, you can meet with them to ensure mutual comfort and understanding. Compatibility is the key to a successful surrogacy experience.
Step Four: Legal Agreements
Before any medical procedures can start, the surrogate and intended parents must sign a legally binding surrogacy contract. Each party should have its own layer to ensure independent representation.
The agreement typically covers parental rights, surrogate compensation, medical decisions and expectations, responsibilities during the pregnancy, and contingency plans in the case of any complications that may arise. Having legal clarity like this can help prevent future disputes and give everyone more peace of mind.
Step Five: Medical Prep and Embryo Transfer
Once all the legal work is done, the medical part of the journey begins. The surrogate will undergo a medical screening that includes a full exam with blood tests, ultrasounds, and uterine evaluation. All of this is done to confirm she is ready for a pregnancy.
Next is the IVF and embryo transfer, which is followed by a two-week wait to confirm the pregnancy through a blood test.
Step Six: Pregnancy and Prenatal Care
Once the pregnancy is confirmed, the surrogate receives regular prenatal care, just like any other pregnancy. However, communication between the surrogates and intended parents is also key during this time. Many intended parents choose to attend prenatal appointments and keep in touch regularly.
Step Seven: Preparing for Delivery
As the due date gets closer, the intended parents and surrogate get ready for the birth. This usually means coming up with a birth plan. Hospitals are also typically briefed ahead of time, so everyone is aware of the unique dynamics of the delivery.
Step Eight: Delivery and Post-Birth
After the baby is delivered, they are handed to the intended parents and all the legal paperwork is finalized to ensure the parental rights are transferred. The surrogate recovers and is given medical and emotional care and support.
Life After Surrogacy
The end of the pregnancy really is just the beginning chapter of a new life. For intended parents, surrogacy represents the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Yes, the road may be a bit bumpy at times, but the results are worth every step taken.
