Choosing to start a family through surrogacy is a deeply personal and life-changing decision. For intended parents, the process can feel overwhelming. There are many steps you need to take, including choosing the right surrogate mother and navigating the legal and medical protocols involved.
Preparing for Your Surrogacy Journey
Before you start your surrogate mother search, it’s important to take some time to carefully consider all of your options and get to know the process better. Here are some key things to think about:
Choosing Between Agency and Independent Surrogacy
Many intended parents choose to work with reputable surrogacy agencies. They provide professional guidance, screening, and legal support throughout the entire process. Alternatively, there is independent surrogacy, where you personally find the surrogate yourself.
Budgeting and Financial Planning
Surrogacy can be a costly process, and the costs vary depending on several factors like the type of surrogacy, medical procedures involved, and the legal fees. You want to set a realistic budget and be prepared for potential unexpected expenses.
Legal and State Laws
Surrogacy laws vary depending on the location, and these laws can impact the process. To gain a good understanding of the legal framework in your chosen destination, it is essential to consider parental rights, compensation, and contracts.
Emotional and Psychological Readiness
Since surrogacy also involves a great deal of emotional and personal investment for both the intended parents and the surrogate, it’s important to assess if you are emotionally prepared for the journey ahead. Have an open conversation with the surrogate, manage your expectations, and make sure that everyone’s goals are aligned.
The Surrogacy Search Timeline
The process of finding your surrogate can vary depending on different factors like the type of surrogacy, the agency you choose to work with, and the availability of potential surrogates. Here is a general timeline that can help you manage your expectations about the process.
Research and Decision Making (1-2 Months)
Take the time to research the surrogacy process.
- Choose between traditional or gestational surrogacy because this will influence your search
- Decide between independent or agency-assisted surrogacy. Agencies are often more structured and offer surrogate screenings, medical support, and legal assistance.
- Have a good understanding of your financial obligations. Surrogacy laws vary as well, so you also want to familiarize yourself with all local laws and regulations in your chosen country.
Step Two Is Finding a Surrogate (3-6 Months)
Once you have decided it’s time to move forward, the next step is your surrogate mother search. If you’re working with a reputable agency, they will show you profiles of potential surrogates based on your preferences and requirements.
- Health: The surrogate must be in good health, have a history of successful pregnancies, and be physically fit.
- Emotional Stability: A surrogate should be emotionally prepared for the process
- Background and Personality: Many agencies allow you to meet with potential surrogates to ensure compatibility.
Step Three: Medical Screenings and Legal (2-4 Months)
Once you are able to find a surrogate mother, both the intended parents and the surrogate will undergo medical screenings to ensure their health and well-being ahead of the process. Once the medical aspects are out of the way, you will move on to the legal aspects.
A surrogacy contract is essential because it outlines the rights, responsibilities, and expectations of everyone involved. The contracts will also cover everything from financial compensation for the surrogate to what happens if there are any medical complications along the way.
Step Four: IVF and Embryo Transfer (1-2 Months)
Once you have gone through IVF and the eggs are fertilized, the selected embryo is transferred to the surrogate mother’s uterus. Since this is a very delicate process, medical professionals will be there to monitor the surrogate’s health and the embryo’s development.
Step Five: Pregnancy and Support (9 Months)
Once the embryo has been successfully implanted, the surrogate mother will carry the pregnancy to term. You will be in constant communication with the surrogate, attend medical appointments, and prepare for your baby’s arrival.
Resources for Intended Parents
Since the surrogacy journey can be complicated at times, it helps to have resources available. Surrogacy agencies provide services to help match intended parents with suitable surrogates and then manage the medical and legal aspects.
Surrogacy attorneys are legal experts who specialize in reproductive law and can draft surrogacy agreements and make sure everything is handled properly. There are also counseling and support groups that can offer emotional support to everyone.
Managing Expectations
Make sure you manage your expectations. Surrogacy is a beautiful way to build your family, but it can also be a challenging and time-consuming process. It can take several months, if not years, in some cases, depending on the circumstances, so you need to be patient.
Intended parents and surrogates may also experience emotional highs and lows, and not everything will always go as planned. Be prepared for unforeseen challenges.
Starting your surrogate mother search is a big step toward growing your family, so make sure you are well informed and ready for the journey.